The Nature of Conscious Relationships

What are some of the characteristics, or lack there of, of conscious relationships? How does awakening and intimate relating go together? How does love move us as we come together with another and how can love transcend even the relationship we’re in?


Intimate love relationships are only suffering and difficult and challenging when you are in self indulgence and you are all about self concern. Where you want someone to be a certain way for you. Where all your societal conditionings and how a relationship should look like and what this relationship can give you so you can feel secure, you can feel loved and you can be cared for. When all of those things are intact, and in place for you, and you come before your beloved from this place, love cannot happen.

Love that I speak of, the form of love that I’m speaking about is that which is your true nature, love that you already are. You are love. And so when you sit in this place of awareness, the light and awakening of awareness, all dualities and opposites disappear, dissolve. What’s left is no separation. What’s left is the recognition of there is not two but one. So you have this profound experience of oneness and it’s not limited of course to just your beloved, but it pours forth into life and it is encompassing everything.

Because you see you are in love with the highest potential of yourself, that which you are already self, not the egoic me, the potential of humanity. And you see that your lover and you are made up of the same fabric. You are the same. And so you’re relating to them as they are related to you, that there is no separation, there is no other. When you come from this place, all your confusions, all your frustrations, all your angers, all your need to be loved, they’re seen as fuel, raw material for transformation to reveal who you really are. This mystery is living you and you can be sure that anything that is not in alignment with your true nature of who you are is going to come up.

See these days we’re not in love relationships, we shouldn’t call them love relationships, we should call them agreements, or contract relationships because as long as you are saying only “if you give me this, and then I will give you this, or I will open if you are this way or that way,” then you are withholding love, then you’re not awakening at the heart, at the heart and the love that is inherent within you that has no cause, that is not dependent on a particular person or situation. It is conscious moving into moment by moment no matter what the circumstances outside, moving deeply into opening with deep surrender. Surrendering all, all of your demands, all your mind constructs, all your needs and wanting the energy, the egoic me that wants to survive, surrendering it each moment, expanding and opening to this love that you are.

And this love is contagious because when you come before your lover with such deep surrender, it’s inevitable that it would pour out into the world, into others, into your love for the planet, love for the universe, love for God, the devotional aspect of you that arises through this surrender.

Cultivation of inner awareness is a journey which reveals to us who we really are and it’s all inclusive of all the emotions and how we truly love, or not. It is inclusive of when you come before your lover and no matter what they’re being, how they’re being, that you open anyway and you love anyway. And you see consciousness nudging you, or as an indication opening you to wake up through the eyes of your beloved. You look at a flower, it’s consciousness charming you. So everything becomes an expression of this mystery that you are and the mystery lives you. And there is an absence, a complete absence of the egoic me.

The deepest practice as we embark on exploring the truth of our being is to always returning to this place of wholeness, this place of who you already are, where all dualalities and all opposites dissolve.


  1. tammara says:

    Beautiful expression of conscious loving! Thanks

  2. Matthew Fry says:

    Gorgeous, deeply connecting..
    Tapped in
    Tuned in
    Turned on!
    Thank you Zee =)
    Love you xxx

  3. Lion says:

    Beautifully said. You don’t have to find love if love is where you come from. If I could open into love no matter what was happening, I would live AS love, as loving, as beloved — all the time. But my ego self, always hungry for something else, is a powerful force, too. Do I deny it? Ignore it? Detatch from it? Seek its fulfillment? Squash it? Indulge it? Work with it? Play with it?

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